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Critique request "Summerdays"
3 posters
Tapastic Circle :: Webcomics :: Services
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Critique request "Summerdays"
Hi, everyone! Could you guys write your opinion on the first chapter, if it's clear what's going on, and what it needs to be more catchy and attractive to readers!
https://tapastic.com/episode/81557
https://tapastic.com/episode/81557
AngieVX- Posts : 4
Join date : 2016-06-24
Re: Critique request "Summerdays"
Thank you!
The reason for that description is because I'm bad at descriptions!
Thanks for mentioning the poem, it means a lot to me, as for staring into space, it's actually how it's planned.
It was my first action scene, and it was really fun but also challenging, if I have time I'll probably fix some movements, I really enjoy drawing action scenes, but I don't want them to be just action, I want them to serve the script.
The reason for that description is because I'm bad at descriptions!
Thanks for mentioning the poem, it means a lot to me, as for staring into space, it's actually how it's planned.
It was my first action scene, and it was really fun but also challenging, if I have time I'll probably fix some movements, I really enjoy drawing action scenes, but I don't want them to be just action, I want them to serve the script.
AngieVX- Posts : 4
Join date : 2016-06-24
Re: Critique request "Summerdays"
This is coming from someone who usually reads stories with a more grounded vibe, so some of my points may not be 100% in line with what you're going for. Take it with a grain of salt!
Clarity-wise, I get the gist of what's going on: there are two suspicious guys following a woman, and the little girl (and her mom) are trying to interfere without making a scene. But there are panels where I'm completely lost. The "hi there, we're new here. can you... la la la" panel, for example. I can't tell how that's relevant to what's going on?
The bonus page at the end also threw me off XD I didn't realize it was a bonus page for a long time. Maybe put "end of chapter 1" and "bonus page" between the end of chapter 1 and the beginning of the bonus page, instead of noting it at the very end? I thought that was supposed to be the continuation of the story, and I spent a long time trying to figure out how that was connected. "huh? What's going on? Is this a flashback???" XD;;;
Hope that helps!
Clarity-wise, I get the gist of what's going on: there are two suspicious guys following a woman, and the little girl (and her mom) are trying to interfere without making a scene. But there are panels where I'm completely lost. The "hi there, we're new here. can you... la la la" panel, for example. I can't tell how that's relevant to what's going on?
The bonus page at the end also threw me off XD I didn't realize it was a bonus page for a long time. Maybe put "end of chapter 1" and "bonus page" between the end of chapter 1 and the beginning of the bonus page, instead of noting it at the very end? I thought that was supposed to be the continuation of the story, and I spent a long time trying to figure out how that was connected. "huh? What's going on? Is this a flashback???" XD;;;
Hope that helps!
keii4ii- Posts : 2
Join date : 2016-06-23
Re: Critique request "Summerdays"
@keii4ii Thank you! You've mentioned a lot of things I was thinking about and was worried about, it's really helpful, thank you for being honest and sincere, it means a lot to me, and thank you for reading my comic!
AngieVX- Posts : 4
Join date : 2016-06-24
Tapastic Circle :: Webcomics :: Services
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